The digital age, with its vast expanse of social media platforms, instant communication, and unrestrained internet access, has transformed our world in ways we could never have imagined. As parents doing teen parenting, we must face the reality that our children are growing up in a realm vastly different from the one we navigated in our youth.

There is a war for our kids. Right now! But we’re in lala land.

One of the most unsettling aspects of this digital age is the hypersexualisation of children.

Look, I know this is difficult to talk about.

Most of us are pretty conservative. And, when we were kids, some of us might have been given a book of sorts to tell us about the birds and bees. Most of us got nothing.

So this is cringey. I get it.

However, as uncomfortable as this is, our children are being bombarded with what used to be called soft porn, shocking violence, and all sorts of inappropriate content from every side: social media, school, peers, movies, music videos, you name it.

What do we do? We close our eyes, look the other way. “Not my child,” we say.

But, my dearest reader, if we don’t tell them the truth and prepare them for when it comes (not if, when!), then everyone else around them will fill in the blanks. And let me tell you, it will not be the pure sunshine and roses we hope for.

South Africa’s beautiful children

Today’s social media platforms have become breeding grounds for unregulated and explicit content that can shape and alter our children’s perceptions of themselves, their bodies, and their sexuality. While these platforms hold the potential for connection, creativity, and self-expression, they also present a significant risk, exposing our children to mature content at an alarmingly young age.

Parents, it’s up to you and I to protect our children. It has always been up to us. Goodness knows, mainstream media and our schools are not going to!

Here in South Africa, we are confronted with the harsh truth of an elevated pre-teen and teen pregnancy rate. It is no coincidence that this issue aligns with the growing digital influence and the increasing sexualisation of young people. Our teenagers are being thrust into adult spaces too soon, without being fully equipped to navigate them.

Moreover, we see that the mainstream education system is falling short in addressing these complex issues. Oh, how far we have fallen from what I think Mandela’s dream and legacy was meant to be.

Instead of teaching the importance of good values, abstinence, and emotional maturity to our innocents, the digital age and our education system often propagates the idea that contraception and abortion are adequate solutions to these problems.

We need to understand – more importantly, our children need to understand – that these things do not safeguard a child’s heart and soul from the emotional devastation that premature sexual encounters bring about.

What the schools don’t tell our children

The only thing that our education system mentions as risks for sexual activity are STDs and pregnancy. That’s it. Oh, and if you can’t abstain, then there’s the pill, condoms, and abortion. No sweat.

Have you heard the saying “lying by omission?” Well, there is so much they do NOT tell our precious children that it borders on criminal.

Here are some of the proven side effects of premature sexual activity that our kids are not told about.

• Higher risk of depression, anxiety, and lower self-esteem.
• Increased likelihood of dropping out of school.
• Increased likelihood of engaging in substance use.
• Increased likelihood of gang involvement and deviant behaviour.
• Negative impact on emotional and mental health.
• Negative impact on social life.
• Negative impact on physical health.
• Negative impact on overall wellbeing.

This is very far off from what the promise of social acceptance, popularity, love, and fame that media is shoving down their throats 24/7.

No, instead of that your child’s soul is bruised.

Their hopes and dreams, gone.

Their friends look down on them.

Their heart, broken.

Their mind, wrecked.

Can a condom fix that?

I didn’t think so.

As parents, we need to tell them the truth. In love. Always, in love.

Buckle up. Boots on. Let’s go: Books that equip us

In her insightful book “How to Raise an Adult,” Julie Lythcott-Haims delves deep into the complexities of modern parenting, highlighting the dire need for us to prepare our children for the realities of adult life. She emphasises that this does not merely refer to practicalities but also includes emotional resilience, mental strength, and moral values.

Our children will flourish when they learn respect – for themselves and for others. They will rise to our expectations of taking responsibility for their actions, especially in a world where a single click can lead to irreversible consequences.

In line with this, Emma Sadleir and Lizzie Harrison’s book, “Selfies, Sexts and Smartphones,” is an essential guide for both parents and teenagers navigating the digital world. The book provides a clear understanding of the risks and realities of the digital landscape and empowers readers with the knowledge to use these tools responsibly and safely.

This gift box is for you, moms and dads in the trenches with teens

You’re not alone. As parents, we’ve been called to report for duty.

We will educate ourselves and equip our children with the necessary tools to safely navigate the complexities of the digital age.

It’s not an easy task, but it’s one we must undertake with diligence and dedication.

So, this July, our gift box includes a selection of treats and treasures. Plus, the perfect book for parents or teens.

Consider this an invitation for you to arm yourself with the knowledge to guide your children through the challenges and perils of adolescence in the digital era.

Let’s learn together, grow together, and build a safer environment for our children.

Our kids need us to step up, to guide them, and to give them the space to become responsible, caring, and well-rounded adults. Together, we can make a difference.

Love,

B 🫶🏾